A giant scar

Towards the end of my pregnancy, I noticed that one of the moles on my left upper arm had become red and was bleeding. I knew that my history of sun exposure (with my fair skin) and lupus make me higher risk for skin cancer. So I saw the dermatologist who did a biopsy and it came back as a “Spitz Nevus with dysplasia”. I actually had to look this up, and it’s no wonder I didn’t remember- they are uncommon, about 1 in 100,000. They look very similar under the microscope to malignant melanoma (the bad kind of skin cancer that can be deadly). Even though a Spitz Nevus isn’t deadly, since they are so similar, they recommend that they are completely cut out.

When I went to the surgeon he told me I would end up with a scar, but I was completely unprepared for the size of the scar I have. Plus I was not prepared to have the “train tracks” aka “centipede legs” from the 8 stitches. It’s right on the front of my arm and VERY visible, especially in Southern California where people wear lots of sleeveless shirts.

I know it’s just a scar. And in the grand picture it doesn’t matter. In fact at this moment I couldn’t be more blessed! I have a perfect baby, my lupus is stable, and my husband is amazing…. But I’m still mourning my old arm and that this new look is now me.

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